A Summary of My Trip to England, Written in Globe Theater-Style Scene Captions

Chunk 1
1. Sitting in the front row for a lecture on literature after 19 hours of travel
2. Bike ride through cow pastures
3. Wandering around Oxford, wondering which archway a fictional character had his picture taken under.

Chunk 2
4. Arrive at London flat to a tiny, tiny room/Return to Oxford
5. Bike ride with strangers/Can't keep up with strangers/Lost in English countryside/Drinking/Meet new roommates/Drinking
6. First day of Shakespeare Camp, feeling like an awkward kindergartener/Flat 13 makes power play
7. Team Midwest conquers London/Why do PhD candidates feel the need to apply critical theory to everything?, or Sometimes, it really is just a statue
8. Meet Glynn, fairy godmother from hell/Find out I am "fucking awful" at walking/Stare at pole, pretend it is Henry V
9. Proper English lady makes noises like a 2-year-old/Find out I am too tense and have bad posture/ Team Don't Fuck Around will cook for booze
10. I have a speech to memorize? Just so you know, I am not going to memorize this speech

Chunk 3
11. Tower of London=Several examples of Henry VIII's cod piece/Brit dressed as penis
12. This guy on the London Eye? He had a shirt on that had a woman in a bikini holding a machine gun on it. Oh, and a gold chain and matching bracelets. I think he was from Russia. I wish I got a picture.

Chunk 4
13. Back to school/Practice, nervousness/Cod piece becomes a theme thanks to Taming of the Shrew
14. Stepping on Globe Stage for the first time/Play magically comes together
15. I am a fucking actor
16. Return to the Tate/We still have class? But why?/Scene chunking panic
17. Return of Return to the Tate/Trying to remember what was for dinner besides champagne
 18. Vacating the flat/Summer camp conclusion woe/47-year-old mosh pit for Peter Hook

Chunk 5
19. Stonehenge and some other very old rocks propped up in the ground