The hallways will always get longer, lined with pictures of former supervisors and chiefs of staff, their facial hair strange and foreign to modern eyes. Linoleum echos of footsteps on hard, waxed surfaces reverberate. Cold florescence. An edifice. A monolith.
One day it will be our faces on the wall. Distant memories. Questionable fashion choices. Yet the edifice remains.
(It was the Greeks who got it right, not Shakespeare. Our tragedies are not the faults of fatal flaws. They are the inevitable results of monolithic, immovable forces of nature.)
27 January 2012
10 January 2012
Best New Dreams, 2012
1. I find the ultra-rare first Poison record that everyone wants...the punk one with the cover that is reminiscent of the Minor Threat discography, only it's Brett Michaels in blue and black relief. I show it to everyone I know. No one cares.
2. I get a job at an antiques dealership, only to discover that there is a sinister, real-life role-playing game going on in the back room. Quickly, I realize that my job is not to stock antiques but to figure out who is trying to kill me. Everyone I know is there; everyone is a suspect. I turn around to realize that I am suddenly alone. The warehouse doors are closed, and there is water pouring in from under them. The room is quickly filling with water. I climb a pile of junk to a skylight and escape to the roof. When I return to street-level, I can see that everything in the antique shop is damp, but the water is gone. I go back into the store and head to the bosses office. Behind that door is the person who tried to kill me. I open the door, and sitting behind the desk is a glowing red cat. I pick the cat up by the neck, choke it, and throw it out the window.
2. I get a job at an antiques dealership, only to discover that there is a sinister, real-life role-playing game going on in the back room. Quickly, I realize that my job is not to stock antiques but to figure out who is trying to kill me. Everyone I know is there; everyone is a suspect. I turn around to realize that I am suddenly alone. The warehouse doors are closed, and there is water pouring in from under them. The room is quickly filling with water. I climb a pile of junk to a skylight and escape to the roof. When I return to street-level, I can see that everything in the antique shop is damp, but the water is gone. I go back into the store and head to the bosses office. Behind that door is the person who tried to kill me. I open the door, and sitting behind the desk is a glowing red cat. I pick the cat up by the neck, choke it, and throw it out the window.
27 December 2011
Top
Colin Stetson, New History Warfare Volume Two: Judges
Jazz arpeggiator that is good enough to have a hat named for him.
Anatomy Of Habit, s/t
These songs remind me of beermosas.
Shabazz Palaces, Black Up
I liked it even better when they were named after bugs.
Das Racist, Relax
I think I laugh at a new place every time, but it might just be the same place.
Liturgy, Aesthethica
Hipster black metal trolls, like in the Internet sense.
Raphael Saadiq, Stone Rollin'
Because everyone wants to live when there is such a thing as Soul music.
Bon Iver, Bon Iver, Bon Iver
Big ups to Bon Iver for rekindling my love of Phil Collins.
Jazz arpeggiator that is good enough to have a hat named for him.
Anatomy Of Habit, s/t
These songs remind me of beermosas.
Shabazz Palaces, Black Up
I liked it even better when they were named after bugs.
Das Racist, Relax
I think I laugh at a new place every time, but it might just be the same place.
Liturgy, Aesthethica
Hipster black metal trolls, like in the Internet sense.
Raphael Saadiq, Stone Rollin'
Because everyone wants to live when there is such a thing as Soul music.
Bon Iver, Bon Iver, Bon Iver
Big ups to Bon Iver for rekindling my love of Phil Collins.
23 December 2011
I Just Watched "Big" and I Have Some Issues with It
1. From Mrs. Baskin's perspective, this is a movie about child molestation.
2. If I was a grown woman and a guy took me back to his loft to show me his trampoline and blow-up Godzilla, I would get the fuck out.
3. Having your boss catch you playing Lazer Tag in a toy store gets you fired, not promoted.
4. From Mrs. Patterson's perspective, this is a movie about a toy executive who invites young boys into his office, and probably molests them.
5. At some point, Susan realizes she's been sleeping with a 13-year-old. Shouldn't she, like, vomit?
6. The part where Susan says, "You won't even remember me." and Josh says, "Oh, yes I will." is supposed to be touching, but actually its creepy.
2. If I was a grown woman and a guy took me back to his loft to show me his trampoline and blow-up Godzilla, I would get the fuck out.
3. Having your boss catch you playing Lazer Tag in a toy store gets you fired, not promoted.
4. From Mrs. Patterson's perspective, this is a movie about a toy executive who invites young boys into his office, and probably molests them.
5. At some point, Susan realizes she's been sleeping with a 13-year-old. Shouldn't she, like, vomit?
6. The part where Susan says, "You won't even remember me." and Josh says, "Oh, yes I will." is supposed to be touching, but actually its creepy.
Top 9 Dreams, 2011
1. I have a deck of cards, but it is not the right type.
2. Those black dots are hurting Tom Hanks.
3. I didn't know that what I made was meth, so how could I have known I was giving meth out to children?
4. Camping in a blank space.
5. I think maybe it had something to do with sledding?
6. I have the worst class I could possibly imagine, but I am teaching them at the beach.
7. Driving on a foggy road on a cliff, listening to Santana.
8. Double wide airplane, almost missing the connecting flight, second plane crashes, buying candy at the duty-free shop, the airport parking lot is deserted.
9. Lawn ornament turns into Jesus, I say, "Jee-SUS!," Jesus says, "Whassup?!" (reissue)
2. Those black dots are hurting Tom Hanks.
3. I didn't know that what I made was meth, so how could I have known I was giving meth out to children?
4. Camping in a blank space.
5. I think maybe it had something to do with sledding?
6. I have the worst class I could possibly imagine, but I am teaching them at the beach.
7. Driving on a foggy road on a cliff, listening to Santana.
8. Double wide airplane, almost missing the connecting flight, second plane crashes, buying candy at the duty-free shop, the airport parking lot is deserted.
9. Lawn ornament turns into Jesus, I say, "Jee-SUS!," Jesus says, "Whassup?!" (reissue)
09 December 2011
Dick Army
I just read the entirety of this blog, and cannot believe that none of it existed before my move to California . I cannot fathom life before ifoundthistape, but fathoming life before life before the Golden State is quite, quite easy. Are all the parts of me parts of me? HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.
In these proclamitory moments, I choose an inaudible tone of voice. Not gravel and screaming, but jumbled, for, as it turns out, I'm a writer who is scared of what he will write.
Maybe I'll delete this. Burzum is Neu-ian.
In these proclamitory moments, I choose an inaudible tone of voice. Not gravel and screaming, but jumbled, for, as it turns out, I'm a writer who is scared of what he will write.
Maybe I'll delete this. Burzum is Neu-ian.
Dick Army
DickarmydIckarmydiCkarmydicKarmydickArmydickaRmydickarMydickarmYDIckarmydICkarmydiCKarmydicKArmydickARmydickaRMydickarMYdickarmYDIckarmyDICkarmydICKarmydiCKArmydicKARmydickARMydickaRMYdickarMYDIckarmYDICKarmyDICKarmydICKArmydiCKARmydicKARMydickARMYdickARMYDickaRMYDIckarMYDICkarmYDICKArmyDICKARmydICKARMydiCKARMydicKARMYDiCARMYDiCARMYDiCARMYDiCARMYDiCARMYDiCARMYDiCARMYDiCARMY!
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