Rat Update

Total Caught: 8

• # of Adult Rats: 4
• # of Absolutely Adorable Baby Rats: 3
• # of Normal-looking Baby Rats: 1

All rats were dropped off at the Toad Hallow Dog Park, near the tree directly to the right of the handicapped parking spaces.

No rats were harmed in the creation of this blog.

When eggs are this green, it is natural to become skeptical.

Foaming
from
forming
phoneme f
orms.

Hip Hip HooraY!

And it looms over us like a baseball that has disappeared into the sun of the afternoon. Its up there somewhere, falling with velocity, accelerating with every second. This baseball was once unformidable but now that its falling invisible, it is consuming me.

A converstion I had Recently

"Nobody reads my blog."
"Nobody reads MY blog."
"Nobody reads my blog."
"Nobody reads MY blog."
"Nobody reads my blog."
"Nobody reads MY blog."
"Nobody reads my blog."
"Nobody reads MY blog."
"Nobody reads my blog."
"Nobody reads MY blog."
"Nobody reads my blog."
"Nobody reads MY blog."
"Nobody reads my blog. ""Nobody reads MY blog."
"Nobody reads MY blog." "Nobody reads my blog."
"Nobody reads my blog." "Nobody reads MY blog."
"Nobody reads MY blog." "Nobody reads my blog."
"Nobody reads my blog." "Nobody reads MY blog."
"Nobody reads MY blog." "Nobody reads my blog."
"Nobody reads my blog."
"Nobody reads MY blog."
"Nobody reads my blog."
"Nobody reads MY blog."
"Nobody reads my blog."
"Nobody reads MY blog."
"Nobody reads my blog."
"Nobody reads MY blog."
"Nobody reads my blog."
"Nobody reads MY blog."
"Nobody reads my blog."
"Nobody reads MY blog."

Stupid Mountains

My attempt to break the world's record for most consecutive totally awesome blog posts ends today. Tomorrow I'll be in the middle of the state trying to walk up a stupid mountain, and unless there is an Internet Cafe at the top, I will not have any access to BLOG until Sinday. Maybe there will be an Internet Cafe up there. That would make the mountain far less stupid for sure. What with all that connectivity.

Stupid Mountains

They can't even think about stuff or anything. What is the point of just being rocks and snow and a place for trees to grow until they reach a certain point and then it's, NO! No more trees. They make traveling difficult and steal the rain away from the oceans. I like valleys better. Good old valleys. Never can go wrong with that. What's that up ahead? I will always know the answer to that question in a valley.

Inside my nose right now, there is something that hurts, like a sore or a cut or something.

But I guess mountains make for better novels. And that song, it won't make as much sense. "From the valleys to the prairies?" I don't think so. So mountains, you may have won this round, but you are still stupid.

Advice For the Day

Feeling sick all the time is not normal.

All Rats are Mice, but not all Mice are Rats

We have captured two mice this week, and after examining their tails with some precision, I have to agree with Bananna that they are rats. Lil segmented pieced tails like one of those cattails (the plant, not the cat tail). We had purchased a live mouse trap, and it did nothing for 2 weeks except give the little things a free dinner each night. We were tired of poop everywhere, tired of the dog going crazy everytime it heard the Pit er Pat, so we went back to the store to get some kill traps.

We looked at them, though, and could not bring ourselves to do it. By this point, enough rage had built up inside of me that I really thought I could kill'em all, but when it came to the sight of those death traps, and the clean-up that would be required, we had to say no. So we bought a bigger live trap instead, for like 30 dollars, big enough to catch chipmunks and small squirrels. Big enough indeed, since the first day we set it we caught two. We know there is at least a third, and now I check the trap even more obsessive-compulsively than my email. I like not killing things, California.

Why I Don't Like Standards Haiku

Forced into straight lines,
it's easy to imagine
the desire to break.

Mousetrap, Mouse's Perspective Haiku

Chain-linked space, Swinging
trap door, Metal plate trigger,
Feast of bagel chips.

Lists of Five

Concerts I Thought About Yesterday:
1. Neil Young and Crazy Horse, World Music Theater, Tinley Park, IL, 1997
2. Table Mountain Gun Club, Pat Ford's Living Room in Milwaukee, WI, 1999
3. Sigur Ros, Civic Opera House, Chicago, IL, 2006
4. A Tundra, Silent Barn, New York, NY, 2007
5. Icy Demons, Abbey Pub, Chicago, IL, 2007

Not That You Care, But I:
1. Had fish for dinner
2. Will be wearing hiking boots for the next week
3. Am mildly interested in baseball
4. Have come to the sad conclusion that I must kill the mice that have made my house their home
5. Saw an episode of Tim and Eric Awesome Show Good Job today

Five More Things:
1. Quilt
2. Cheetah
3. Applesauce
4. Petal
5. Garage

Scarves I Own:
1. EuroCup 1996, Germany, black & white
2. Hand-knit, extra-long by Anna
3. Kafiya, black & white
4. EuroCup 1996, Germany, teal
5. Soft-n-gray

Blogga day

A blog a day in the month of May, plus five months. Though now that I've boasted this goal in public, failure is inevitable. So people, here it is: The blog about my intention to blog. It is day three and I have already resorted to this.

In other news, my hair is shorter than my dog's, the fern in the living room is currently in silhouette, water is still delicious, and I cut my finger but I don't know how.

OMG 4REAL? Haiku

Morning sunlight seeps
through blue bamboo, bringing me
my daily sickness.

It's October now

According to the calendar, at least. In my mind it is Spring and the Summer is a month or two away. & yet & yet the leaves are changing, the harvests have come and gone, and the sports teams, most all of them, are battling each other in their respective fields.

I suppose I'll return to the corn maze to get lost in the dark following my own sense of direction. Once again I'll give up after 21 minutes and begin walking straight through the corn, my quick direct route to departure.