My Children's Album

1. Let Mommy Sleep (She Is Suffering from Depression)

2. Your Mouth Stinks!

4. What's For Breakfast? (No, I'm Asking You. I'm Sick of Making Your Goddamn Breakfast)

5. When Daddy Goes to Work, It Means He Loves You (But Not Mommy)

6. Party in the Bathroom! (Wiping Our Buttholes)

7. Judge Mathis is Kind of Like Big Bird

8. Let's Have a Nap for Lunch!

9. Time For a Beer (Daddy's Home)

10. Spaghetti Looks (and Tastes) Like Brains

11. Bedtime Spanking

Two-Word Record Reviews of Things I Downloaded Today

1. "The King of Limbs" by Radiohead--Finally cohesive.
2. "Bastard" by Tyler, The Creator--Scary asshole.
3. "Sit Down, Man" by Das Racist--LOL (jk)

That place was great.

Remember Catfish Haven? And the origins of "Hey, Donny...Remember what you said about Sean?...That he was a loser?" and the engagement ring in the burger with the Beatles playing and that girl's odd spite towards Shelly and cigs? Remember cigs? And kidnapping pranks and that metal band next door and your impersonation of Anthony Kedis and "It's smooth, it's nice" and living in A-ville and "Ri tried to kiss me" and "Smoking pole" and that time you left practice because you got a message that had Malkmus playing a "In the Mouth a Desert" on it? Remember how we'd write a bunch of songs and then scrap them and write new songs? And your marriage?

These are some of the best times of my life. For serious.

I think, though, that "Warning" was actually made by Arizona. The e-drink you are describing might be Fuze.