Best New Dreams, 2012

1. I find the ultra-rare first Poison record that everyone wants...the punk one with the cover that is reminiscent of the Minor Threat discography, only it's Brett Michaels in blue and black relief. I show it to everyone I know. No one cares.

2. I get a job at an antiques dealership, only to discover that there is a sinister, real-life role-playing game going on in the back room. Quickly, I realize that my job is not to stock antiques but to figure out who is trying to kill me. Everyone I know is there; everyone is a suspect. I turn around to realize that I am suddenly alone. The warehouse doors are closed, and there is water pouring in from under them. The room is quickly filling with water. I climb a pile of junk to a skylight and escape to the roof. When I return to street-level, I can see that everything in the antique shop is damp, but the water is gone. I go back into the store and head to the bosses office. Behind that door is the person who tried to kill me. I open the door, and sitting behind the desk is a glowing red cat. I pick the cat up by the neck, choke it, and throw it out the window.

Top 9 Dreams, 2011

1. I have a deck of cards, but it is not the right type.
2. Those black dots are hurting Tom Hanks.
3. I didn't know that what I made was meth, so how could I have known I was giving meth out to children?
4. Camping in a blank space.
5. I think maybe it had something to do with sledding?
6. I have the worst class I could possibly imagine, but I am teaching them at the beach.
7. Driving on a foggy road on a cliff, listening to Santana.
8. Double wide airplane, almost missing the connecting flight, second plane crashes, buying candy at the duty-free shop, the airport parking lot is deserted.
9. Lawn ornament turns into Jesus, I say, "Jee-SUS!," Jesus says, "Whassup?!" (reissue)

Soon my tooth will have a crown

i will have to wait until tttomorrow to say what needs to be said: There are lives at stake, you know. Rather than yell out names, say "This Christine person, she thinks God talks to her." Rather than that

I








will







remain















silent.





It is my right.

Maybe I am not a professional basketball player, but I am happy with this ending.

I am happy with this ending: Mike Colado, sunken living room sleep over, truth or dare and magic mushroom pizza, sixth grade, the gods must be crazy and goonies, too much soda. The pool out back, his father's mustache like the shag carpet we slept on. The unbreakable coffee mug we hit with a hammer. I am happy with this ending.

His house, though, on a hill: I cannot seem to place it on the map in my mind.

i woke myself up to write this, posted it on anna's blog in my sleepstate, and moved it here

I've made a map of/in my dreams, a place I've been many times now: a sullen road on a mountain cliff, a bank of stores on a soft turn down, taffy and popcorn, baseball hats. Down the road, the moss overtakes the brown on the seaside, but look up to the right, where the ascending hill should be, up is blank.

Farther up the road, uphill, is a campsite where an impending sense of doom resides. I feel anxious i/o/n this landscape, and at home.